"Is it what I think it is?"
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So I'm in the shower and I hear my phone go "Call from Taylor." Of course I jump outta she shower to pick up my phone. "Helloooo.." I say softly. "Hey, what are you doing?" He questions me. "Well I'm in the shower." I answer. "Oh why are you in the shower?" He questions again. "Because I need a shower?" I reply. "Why?" He asks again. "Ummm because I'm dirty...?" I said while freezing to death. "Oh I see." He said softly. "Yeah did you want to hang out or something?" I asked softly listening to the water running. "Well yeah hurry up in the shower." Click....... I jump back into the shower and finish up. I get out get dressed and tell him I'm ready and my phone buzzed in my pocket. "We won't have a lot of time to spend together." I read and I sighed and replied. "I don't care I want to see you." So he gets here and I get in the car and of course the music is blaring and we start heading to his house and he looks at me and smiles and places his hand on my leg and gives it a squeeze and I couldn't help but smile. So were driving along and I look at him and smile, so we drove past Benson and I look out the window and point. "I'll be going there soon." And he looked at me and goes. "Oh great your going to get raped by some nigger." I look at him. "Taylor are you serious? This time it's a nigger and last time it was someone at a party. Thanks a lot." I turn away and keep looking out the window till we get to his house and we go up to his room and I'm laying on MY bed and he's breaking up a bowl, he loads his pipe, grabs his vodka and sits down on MY bed, and I look at him. "Your drinking again?" I asked softly. He gave me a goofy look and was like. "No you are." I scoffed, "Yeah right I got CPS watching my house forget that." He just shrugged and began to smoke and drink, after few drinks and a bowl he lays down on the bed and looks at me. "Hey Missy." He cooed. "What Taylor?" I asked a slight bitterness coating my voice. "Suck my dick with that pretty little mouth of yours." He teased running his finger across my lips. "Taylor! Are you kidding me you are so drunk right now." I laugh my cheeks tinting a soft pink. "So you know every time your with me Im either drunk or tipsy." He said sitting up to take another drink of his vodka. "Well yeah but still I let you get away with so much with me." I state defensively. "I know you do." He replied. "You let me do a lot to you and I'm not sure why." He said as he pressed his lips against the pipe. "Me either." I whispered softly to myself. He gave me a look and I just smiled at him. He smiled back smoke escaping his lips as he smiled. "I mean why should I beat around the bush? We've done almost everything I might as well just tell you what I want." He said as he laid back down and I shrugged a bit. "Yeah." I said softly as I lean in and we kiss softly, a kiss full of passion. I thought sparks were going to start shooting outta my finger tips and I pull away and smile and he smiled and laughed softly. "Your hair was tickling my face." He laughed as he rubbed his nose, so while I'm looking at him he pulls his dick out and I look down and laugh. "Really Taylor?" I giggle. "Yeah Missy put that pretty mouth of yours to work." He said with a sweet candy coated voice. "I think I need a magnifying glass to see it." I teased. "Seee I can be mean toooo." I laughed as he looked at me. "Oh really, if you need a magnifying glass to see it lemme see you put the whole thing in your mouth since it's so small and all." He laughed. "No I'm not stupid that's what you want me to do." I giggled. "Well duhhh Missy." He teased. "Well I kinda wanna fuck." I whined. "Oh really." He asked kinda shocked. "Yeah." I giggled as I stood up, he stripped and I stood there and he pulled me in close as he kissed me he unbuttoned my pants, slowly like it was an art, with a soft wiggle of my hips they were on the floor. He laid me down and we had sex made love, it was beautiful but painful in the best way. After we finished I laid there my legs trembling, breathing heavily, my cheeks tinted pink with pleasure and my eyes sparkled with the satisfaction of what we had just done. "You gunna be ok?" He asked me as I lay there motionless except for the soft rhythmic movement of my legs. "Yeah... I'm just sore." I said softly as I pulled my panties on. "We'll I would say oops but we both knew what was going to happen." He laughed as he kissed me. I pulled my pants on and laid down and closed my eyes while we went to roll a joint, I laid there quietly relaxing and just thinking. "Come." I hear Taylor say softly. "We gotta go, Imma go get Rabbit I'll meet you at the car." He said as he went to wake up Rabbit. "Alrighty." I said softly as I made my way to the car, he took me home and kissed me goodnight.
Sex or Love. Used or Not. Wanting or Needing. Truth or Lies?
I'm not sure what we have but I know what ever it is I want it, and I need it.
Is he falling in love and realizing I'm the best thing he will ever have?
Who knows.
I promised I'm not going to keep secrets from him and I don't plan on it.
I tell him everything he needs to know.
I know I'm falling in love and I couldn't ask for anything more but when I think about it things are difficult and there are so many people wanting me and fighting for me.
Sometimes I want to cry because I know I'm breaking hearts and mines breaking along the way.
Taylor Garvis, Johnnie Carpenter and Hunter Pabian.
Oh Boys Boys Boys.
What ever shall I do.
Taylor- He loves to fuck and I think I'm falling for him.
Johnnie- He loves me and I love him but could it ever work?
Hunter- He wants children? marriage? commitment?
Can I give that now?
I'm not sure I don't have much in my heart to give it's all be used or taken and what little part I have left I want to hold on to for someone who needs it and who wants it and who deserves it.
Taylor pulls his rope tighter, Johnnie keeps his grip and tugs back, Hunter pulls keeping the mix even.
Who's going to win this tug a war match?
Sometime I wish this was just a dream so I could wake up.
But it's life and I just have to live it.
I'm getting off though.
I'll update tomorrow.
"And I just wanna wake up."
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