And I've Got To Keep My Composure;

"Shatter the glass like a broken memory."

_________________________________

I found out my cousin is going to be at the funeral, I don't know if I can choke up enough bravery to go, after what he did to me for those three years. I'm scared and I'm about to start crying, I want to go to this so bad but why does he have to be here? I feel like their picking him over me like they did every time, my problem got pushed aside so he could stay in the Marines and I was called a lier. Why would I like about something like that, he hurt me and he took three years of my life from me. I want Cass with me so bad right now it's so hard to see this fucking computer screen with these tears clouding my vision, I feel like I can't breathe and I'm panicking. I need some one to save me right now. I can't even think clearly I feel like I should just go and jump off a bridge and let the next funeral be my own. Why did this shit have to fucking happen to me, why did God let me get hurt like this I was a good kid and yeah I made mistakes but I didn't deserve this, maybe he's the reason I act like sucha hoe because that's all I've ever known and I know it's wrong but it's normal to me and I just can't.....

I just can't breathe anymore and I want someone to come and push the life back into me.

I feel like I'm falling and there's not net to catch me and I'm going to break once I hit the ground and it's going to happen all over again.

Oh GOD!

I fucking hate myself!!!!!!!!!!

It wasn't my fault why can't they fucking see that?! HE SHOULD OF KNOWN BETTER HE'S NOT A FUCKING RETARD!

I feel like no one will ever believe me.

These tears wont stop it's like a broken faucet that can't be shut off......

I just want to die.

Someone breathe life back into me please.

I'm begging so I don't loose my life or my mind.

____________________________________

"And she's never felt so broken."